December is finally here, well it will be on saturday. December is the greatest of months. You have the Maccabees, and the jewish festival of lights, we celebrate the african harvest festival, we remember the birth of christ, and last but not least we experience the celebration of the anniversary of the birth of yours truly.
Now, obviously I could go any way with an introduction like this. I could go on and on about about how I wish Ferraris had the fuel efficiency of a Menorah, I could question what kind of car Jesus would drive upon his return, I could even tell you about the most popular car in Africa, but I have chosen a different route with this post, one that has to do, with me.
What the 16th anniversary of a birth means in the state of Ohio is that a person who has completed the following rather unnecessary list of tasks is eligible to test for their drivers license: 6 months ownership of temporary permit; six 4-hour driving school classes; four 2-hour in car lessons with instructor, 50 recorded and notarized hours of driving with a parent.
I am one of those people and come my birth’s anniversary, I will be testing for my license. Two days after my birthday, that is.
Unfortunately that is the soonest as possible, as well as very far away. Butler county to be specific so desptie missing school, I may be waking up earlier.
But there is one problem. You see, among my many talents are things like: academic excellence, immaculate automotive knowledge, superb blog posts, journalistic perfection, vast knowledge of adjectives with good connotations, and the ability to use a thesaurus. But one of my many fields of expertise has crippled me. That would be my incomparable athleticism. During the last week of football season a player
from Taylor–who had obviously read this blog–went for my clutch foot, so he could prevent my ability to drive my manual Jeep.
Despite my broken ankle, my magnificent doctor, Dr. Langendurfer, has decided that a air-boot cast is the way to heal this injury. The boot is compact, sleek, stylish, and mobile. It can work a clutch, possibly with more ease than my foot can by itself, because in the boot I do not need to use the muscles in the lower half of my leg.
So seeing as Taylor and the state of Ohio have been defeated, now the only thing to lie in the path to my license is time itself, and when I have defeated that, well, watch out road-goers, there is a new kid behind the wheel.