The First Step…with my good foot, that is

December is finally here, well it will be on saturday. December is the greatest of months. You have the Maccabees, and the jewish festival of lights, we celebrate the african harvest festival, we remember the birth of christ, and last but not least we experience the celebration of the anniversary of the birth of yours truly.

Now, obviously I could go any way with an introduction like this. I could go on and on about about how I wish Ferraris had the fuel efficiency of a Menorah, I could question what kind of car Jesus would drive upon his return, I could even tell you about the most popular car in Africa, but I have chosen a different route with this post, one that has to do, with me.

What the 16th anniversary of a birth means in the state of Ohio is that a person who has completed the following rather unnecessary list of tasks is eligible to test for their drivers license: 6 months ownership of temporary permit; six 4-hour driving school classes; four 2-hour in car lessons with instructor, 50 recorded and notarized hours of driving with a parent.

I am one of those people and come my birth’s anniversary, I will be testing for my license. Two days after my birthday, that is.

Unfortunately that is the soonest as possible, as well as very far away. Butler county to be specific so desptie missing school, I may be waking up earlier.

But there is one problem. You see, among my many talents are things like: academic excellence, immaculate automotive knowledge, superb blog posts, journalistic perfection, vast knowledge of adjectives with good connotations, and the ability to use a thesaurus. But one of my many fields of expertise has crippled me. That would be my incomparable athleticism. During the last week of football season a player

That there is the conflict, its my air boot, but I believe that I have defeated it.

from Taylor–who had obviously read this blog–went for my clutch foot, so he could prevent my ability to drive my manual Jeep.

Despite my broken ankle, my magnificent doctor, Dr. Langendurfer, has decided that a air-boot cast is the way to heal this injury. The boot is compact, sleek, stylish, and mobile. It can work a clutch, possibly with more ease than my foot can by itself, because in the boot I do not need to use the muscles in the lower half of my leg.

So seeing as Taylor and the state of Ohio have been defeated, now the only thing to lie in the path to my license is time itself, and when I have defeated that, well, watch out road-goers, there is a new kid behind the wheel.


Hearts and Souls

A life without a heart is a pretty tough one. Blood isn’t moving, how can anything really work? You have no pulse, no animation, nothing to power all the wonderful functions of the body. Hearts are what power humans, they get us going, they regulate our energy, they make us tick.

Without a heart, a human being is essentially a hairy sack of water. Though in reality it is a function of the brain, we describe our souls and our animation through the heart. We reach into our hearts looking for the passion in our souls, it’s how we get through the hardships of life, not our brains, not our livers, our hearts.

In order to keep this from being a biological/philosophical post, a connection should be made to the realm of automobiles. The engine is the heart. The car is the body. Without its engine a car is a waste of raw materials: metal, plastic, oil, rubber etc. It has nothing to power it, nothing to make it go, it’s essentially a rusty carriage.

You also have to ask yourself as a motorist what brings up your passion in a car. What is it? Your seats? You trunk? Your windshield wipers? If a car is simply a quick form of transportation to you, or a some worthless piece of machinery that will soon be replaced as does and technology, than I question how you found youself reading this. If an engine truly is parallel to the human heart then the answer should be the engine; mine is. It’s what makes you put your foot down farther, it’s why so much money and time is spent on these inanimate objects, because in our eyes it is animate.

Cars are our friends, not in a crazy person way, more of a companionship way like a cat but more mobile. I only have my temps but I already have my companion. The Jeep and I may not know each other that well yet, but we will.

Without an engine all of this is gone; this blog doesn’t exist, there is no car culture, passion or industry, and us school kids are forced to  walk ten miles two ways barefoot in the snow while it’s 30 below to school like back in the day.

If hearts didn’t exist, well, nothing exists the human world is gone as the car world would if the disappearance of the heart of the automobile occurs. The blood that runs through our veins can simply be recreated by our marrow, someday though, cars will run out of the oily blood that keeps their heart going,  and thats a day I can safely say all human hearts will be break.

Here’s my companions big ol’ heart.